Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
