i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
