Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
