then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
