Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
