i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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