i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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