someone threw a dead crab at me
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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