i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
