So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
