I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
