i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
