how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
