Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
