Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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