So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
