What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
now i know why i became what i already was.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
