Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
