God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Please don't give away my fajitas
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
