I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
