Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I know her cup size but not her name....
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