Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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