Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
