you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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