I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
