nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
