My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
