The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
