My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
