I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
