Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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