Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
