he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
