also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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