If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
