do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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