5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
