the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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