i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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