I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
