so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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