Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
