A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
