Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
