so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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