you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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