So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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