Hey man sorry I got all grabby
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
