That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
