Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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